remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
