I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
