Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
