I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
