She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize