ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
