I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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