Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
