i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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