your room smells of hookers.
And success
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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