I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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