im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
