I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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