we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
