he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
