used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
