1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize