U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
