at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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