I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize