My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
