Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i now understand why vodka
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