Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
