I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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