brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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