i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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