Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
