Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize