So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize