That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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