i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
