you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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