There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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