Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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