Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
