In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
