So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
