I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize