I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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