Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
