I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize