Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
People in love make me want to vomit
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
