Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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