Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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