i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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