He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
