I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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