I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
