Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
