I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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