why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
