I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
