They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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