They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
