I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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