i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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