So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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