How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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