There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
