so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
